Deeze: (From the middle hammered period) noun: A cigarette. “Man let’s go for a deeze.”
Troze: (a corruption of trojan) verb: 1. To get laid 2. verb: To be humiliated in competition.
As in, 1. “I trozed that broad.” or 2. “Tim got trozed in Mario-Kart.”
Hellen Keller: (From the profound dick-move period) 1. Proper noun. A heroic women who helped pioneer education for the disabled. 2. adjective: To be so drunk as to be completely unaware of one’s surroundings. 3. noun: An insult reserved for some horrible sports play.
As in, “Nice putt Hellen Keller, I hope you brought your sand wedge with you, because you’re now right off the green”
Smeeze: (corruption of smoke) 1. verb: To smoke marijuana. 2. noun: marijuana 3. adjective, smeezed: to be high from marijuana. As in, “Dude, I’m so smeezed.” or “Let’s smeeze!”
Poose: (corruption of pussy) noun: A pussy.
As in, “How could you turn down a free shot, poose!” or “Drink up poose!”
Sea Camel: (from the late bar-closing-time-ugly-lights-period) noun: A hideous yet highly sexualized female, often with excessive makeup and body weight. Known to smoke and carry extra condoms with her. Can be seen lurking around bars minutes before closing, attracting shit-faced men with their siren-call of effortless sex. Not to be pursued, but acceptable for dry-spells.
“Bob, you trozed a sea camel last night! Ahhhahah douche.”
McD’s: blatantly obvious. When you get the least drunk person you went out with to drive to McDonald’s drive-thru at 3am so you can order 2 Big Mac’s and 3 double cheeseburgers, eat one thing puke it up and pass out and finish the rest in the morning.
“Dude, let’s hit up McD’s.” “Bro, that was the best idea EVER!” “I’m gonna crush 2 double Big Mac’s.”
Buuudddyyy: (from the middle buzz) noun: Expressed in bewilderment or bemused disbelief. Alternatives: Biddy, Bid, Gnee Gnee, Bud.
As in, “Buuudddyy did you really just challenge me to a game of pool?” or, “Buuuuddddy, I would tune your ass in a fight, let’s go!”
Sub-weez: (from the Rastafarian) noun: Subway, home of delicious submarine sandwiches. Best enjoyed while baked, although still enjoyable while drunk.
Train: (from the ancient Greek…. fraternities) verb: to run train, 1. To thoroughly upstage and impress people at a party where you barely know anyone, especially to embarrass the guys in drinking games, fighting or insults thereby impressing all of their women. 2. The ensuing sexual act performed on said women.
As in, “Bro, you’re running train on this tits ass party. High five!”
Cees: (from the acute paranoia) noun: cocaine.
Dinner gloves: (from who the fuck knows where) noun: condoms.
As in, “Hope you used two dinner gloves on that greasy broad.”
Manchu Wok: short form; Manchu (from the late mediocre overpriced franchise) noun: Generic term used to inquire about the best Asian restaurant that is open until 5 am when one is in an unfamiliar city. Preferably one that does not add extra zeros to hammered clients’ bills when paying with Interac.
As in, “Josh, we’re glad we could come visit you at UNC for the weekend, are we gonna hit up a Manchu Wok tonight?”-Nolander “Absolutely, Empress Garden has all you can-eat buffet for $6 between 3-5am and it’s a 5 minute walk from campus”-Josh.
The bacon: (from the observation) noun: The shaking sensation reserved for the first day after a 5 day post-exam bender. Or, the best food you have ever eaten.
Don’t eat the horse’s shit: (from excessive hilarity of the advancing drunkenness) expression: The term used when an increasingly inebriated person starts to confuse common English sayings. Arose from a corruption of, “Don’t shit where you eat,” and, “Heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.” PS – you’re gay if you say these anyway.
As in, “I don’t want to ruffle any toes,”-Sarah. “That’s right, you wouldn’t want to eat the horse’s shit”- CM. These mistakes are sure indicators of a person’s intoxication and have the potential to be long-term inside jokes. The phenomenon seems slightly more prevalent in those who seldom drink.
Beesch or Beeschwah: (derived from bitch) When your roommate tells you to keep it quiet because he’s got 8:30 class tomorrow. See also, poose.
“Guy, stop being such a beeschwah.”
FFU: to Fuck Fucks Up at anything. To utterly dominate someone making them feel like feece (shit: derived from feces). Alternative: to get extremely intoxicated.
“Man, I’m so FFU’d.” or “Turn on ‘The Box’ I’m going to FFU you at Madden.”
Peeled: To become so drunk that your best buddies have to literally peel you off the floor.
Crippled: To become so drunk that the next morning it feels like you’re going to feel like this the rest of your life and your extremities barely function.
The fear: (from physiology) noun: The intense shitty-ness of a brutal hangover. Characterized by guilt and anxiety. Often accompanied by physical bruising from drunken injuries. Important to remember it will pass. Best cured by food, hair of the dog, prescription pain medication, smeeze (see above), or receiving a blowjob.