I'll take one of each Mr. Bartender Man

September 24, 2011

Beer Baseball

What's better than sex, chicken-fried steak and playoff football? Unfortunately, nothing. This drinking game is a close second though. Beer Baseball mixes two great pre-drinking sports in Beer Pong and flip cup, adds an element of strategy and 100% guarantees drunken annhialation.

Stock your fridge with beer and follow along with these rules:

The Set Up: Arrange your cups in a reverse way of beer pong. So instead of having four cups at the back of the table, you have them at the front. Then you have 3, then 2, then 1 at the very end of the pyramid, which will be closest to the edge of the table. Do so on each side of the table.

Fill the cups with beer. Half is standard but the beauties reading this blog know three quarters is where it's at!

2 ping pong balls per team. Teams of 4. No "switch hitters" allowed. 

Rock paper scissor or last person to get laid to determine who shoots first.

Teams shoot to get it in the other team's cups. Depending how drunk you are this ranges from as easy as Wilt Chamberlain dunking to as hard as raw-dogging Paris Hilton and not catching anything.

If you sink a shot in the first row of 4, that's a single. If you sink one in the second row of 3, that's a double. If you sink it in the third row of 2, that's a triple. If you land in the back cup, that there is a home motherfucking run.

You drink in the order you bat and after you drink you have to fill that cup back up with beer. 

*Side Note: Kenny Fucking Powers will strike you out every time at bat, so don't play against him.

When you get a single, double, or triple, you go 'on base' which means you move towards the middle of the table, fill your cup half full (3/4) and set it at the edge of the table as if you were going to play flip cup. The other team will appoint a man to defend you by filling their own cup and lining up against you across the table. The man on base may steal whenever he wishes, which entails chugging the cup, touching the cup to the table, and flipping the cup so it lands upside down. The defender must keep an eye out for such Ricky-Hendersonesque trickery. If the stealer loses the flip cup effort to the defender, he is out.

Runs are scored in the usual baseball sense. For those of you who only follow baseball while out of your tree drunk and whilst chewing tobacco (present company included) a single brings in a run from second or third base, a triple clears the bases except for the runner/drinker left on third, and a home run brings everyone home.

Outs are recorded when you miss one of your shots or get caught stealing/lose flip cup. 3 outs per team.

The game goes 9 innings, and steroid or cocaine use is encouraged to hit jacks like Mark McGwire.

*Notice of disclaimer: This game takes a long time, sort of like a real baseball game, although not nearly as long as a Yankees Red Sox tilt. It will frustrate and isolate girlfriends and non-players. It will get really intense and friendships will be made and broken on the whims of the right clutch hit or a foolish base steal. In other words, it is fucking awesome.

Take me out to the drink game! Cheers and enjoy.

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