I'll take one of each Mr. Bartender Man

September 02, 2011

Greasy Sex Terms A-Z

- A -
Alaskan Pipeline - When you take a piece of shit, freeze it and stick it up someone else's ass like a frozen shit butt plug.

Ambushed Paddington - Your banging a broad and you pull out just in time only to finish all over her teddy bear.

Anal Ropeburn - When you wipe your ass too much, mainly due to the fact that you had too many shits in a short period of time.

Angry Dragon - When a girl gives you a blowjob and you cum so hard it comes out her nose

Angry Pirate - Girl is giving you blowjob but you tell her you don't want to finish her mouth (play the nice guy angle). Instead, you hold her head close as you finish in her eye (right eye preferable). As she's stumbling around like a drunken hobo, you kick her in the shins really hard. As you're running away, peek over your left shoulder. If you've done everything right, you should see an angry pirate!

Applause From The Back Row - When a man is doing a woman from behind and his balls slap her ass so fast it sounds like applause.

Arabian Goggles - 1. when you place your balls over a chick's eyes. 2. When someone places their balls over another person's eyes while they are asleep.

Austrian Rinse Cycle - taking a piss during anal sex

- B -
Backyard Jersey Sprinkler - fucking a girl in the ass and then shooting your load all over her ass and back

Baltimore Blowfish - when your eating an ass and they fart causing your cheeks to blow up like a blowfish

Bavarian Mudslide - Girl is lying on her back while propped up on her elbows slobbing your knob, and you take a dump that slides down her chest, causing skidmarks, just like in the old bavaria country

Benedict Arnold - 1. When you are banging a girl from behind and you fake orgasm by spitting on her back only to blow it in your own hand and rub it in her face when she isn't expecting it. 2. When you are sitting in a bathroom stall and a guy sitting next to you asks for a roll of toilet paper and when he reaches under, you shit in his hand.

Boston Pancake - When you shit on a girl's chest and slam it repeatedly with your balls until its flat and then cum all over it as syrup.

Boston Teabag - when you spill on a girls tits, lower your balls into the mess, and then stamp her forehead with them.

Bowling Ball - when you stick your thumb in a chick's ass and then your middle and index fingers in her vag.

Brainwash - when a guy orgasms while really far back in a girls throat

Brazilian Manflower - when a man tit-fucks a woman backwards and farts in her face

Bubble Gum Gag - Stick your bag out of your pants and tell your friends you have bubblegum on your pants. Everyone will look only to find your creepy ball sack.

- C -
Cajun Hotstick - while chewing tobacco and fucking a girl you pull out your hog, spit on it, and throw it back in her.

California Carwash - when you blow a load all over a girl's face and rub your member back and forth in it

Chicken Cutlet - while banging on the beach you pull your dick out, dip it in the sand, and put it back in her

Chili Dog - crapping between a girl's tits then using the shit as lube for a titty fuck.

Cleveland Steamer - to take a shit on one's chest.

Coney Island Whitefish - a used condom floating in the water

Creamy Renaldo - the act of cumming in a buddy's ear while he is asleep

- D -
Dirty Bagpipe - to accidentally fart during a blowjob

Dirty Cell Phone - while banging a chick from behind you stick your finger in her ass then pull it out and stick it in her ear and ask, "Can you hear me now?"

Donkey Punch - when you are doing a girl from behind, preferably in the ass, and just as you are about to cum, you punch her in the back of the head to make her "clench" up giving you an intense tight orgasm.

- F -
Filthy Arab - when you pull your unit out of a chicks ass and it is covered with crap

Flying Dutchman, The - much like the Cleveland Steamer except the person who just shit jumps and lands on the shit smearing it all over the recipient

Flying Squirrel - when you remove just you balls and stretch them apart with both hands creating a flying squirrel

Frothy Walrus - When you toss so much goo into a girl's mouth that it comes out her nose.

Fruit Basket - As you moon somebody, push your penis and balls toward their person, under your ass

- G -
Glass Bottom Boat - the act of stretching plastic wrap over someone's face and taking a dump on it

Golden Douche - the act of pissing into a girl while fucking her

Golden Enema - same as above only in the ass

- H -
Hot Air Balloon - when you suck a fart out of someone's ass

Hot Pocket - when you are fucking a chicks ass and she farts

- J -
Jelly Donut - when you splooge on a chick's face then punch her in the nose making it bleed.

Jersey Turnpike - when you stick your middle finger up someone's ass while jerking off

Jim Henson - when you are fisting someone so hard that you actually lift them off the ground making it seem like they are a puppet.

- K -
Kentucky Snow Plow - ramming a chick from behind so hard that you keep knocking her head into the headboard of the bed

Kinky Garden Hose - when a girl gives you a handjob and as your about to spill, she squeezes your dick really hard making it impossible to ejaculate

- L -
Landing Gear - this is what it's called when your balls get really tight when you are about to shoot one

- P -

Pearl Harbor - when in the middle of regular sex, you 'sneak attack' your girlfriend by sticking it up her ass without any warning

Pile Driver - fucking a hemroid ridden asshole

Pirate Eye - screaming, "Arr Matey!!" while shooting a load in a chick's eye

- R -

Rogaine Sanchez - when you smear shit all over one's bald head making it appear as though they have hair

Rusty Eyepatch - to shit in or on someone's eye

Rusty Trombone - when a girl is eating a guy's ass then gives him a reach around making it appear as though she's playing a trombone

- S -
Sleeping Bag - an uncircumcised penis.

Shallow Hal - when you have sex with a girl who is nine months pregnant

- U -
Ugly Stanley - the face a girl makes during her orgasm

- Z -
Zombie Rod - the state of your penis after a marathon sex session where the head of it is numb and no longer has feeling

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